![]() The relationship ended abruptly amid unresolved issuesĬlosely linked to a lack of closure around a relationship’s dissolution is the feeling that a relationship was simply cut off too soon, without time to run its course or to resolve underlying issues. Lacking any real sense of closure, “the psyche can take years to process, understand, and heal from a breakup,” she says. The result is a sort of gray area that can allow thoughts and dreams of an ex to surface (and resurface), says Dr. And getting this intel might not be as simple as just asking them because sometimes “the initiator doesn’t necessarily understand why they wanted to leave the relationship themselves, or they don’t want to reveal this information in order to spare their former partner from hurt,” she says. Not being able to understand the reason behind your ex’s choice to end things can also make it tougher to distance yourself, psychologically, from them, adds Dr. “Memories of our former relationships are less within our control than we might want to believe.” “As we sleep, our minds return to the storybooks of our past,” says Dr. And even in someone who steers clear of triggers or consciously pushes thoughts of an ex out of their mind, there’s the potential for the ex to come rushing back in a dream. In either case, those intense feelings can be resurrected years down the line by even the simplest trigger, she adds, such as a fragrance or a song. Naturally, those memories are likely to be all the more poignant in someone who had particularly strong feelings for an ex, “whether it was a long-term romance or more of a fling,” says Dr. “Memories of our former relationships are less within our control than we might want to believe.” -Carla Marie Manly, PhD, clinical psychologist “Even when a romance has run its course and partners feel a sense of closure with the relationship, thoughts of a former partner can bubble up because the memories still exist.” ![]() “In relationships, there are a host of bonding experiences that can emotionally cement partners and make breakups difficult to bear in the short-term and long-term,” says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of Date Smart. According to relationship experts, there are a handful of factors related to any given relationship (and to your own personality) that could leave it lingering in your memory and make you feel as though you can't forget your ex. But, it's not the only kind of relationship that's liable to leave an impression and perhaps even stick with you for years after it ends. ![]() A first love is, indeed, bound to have some long-lasting psychological implications. The phrase “you never forget your first love” is a cliché for a reason. ![]()
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